It all started with good intentions. My mission that is…
My goal when I began this Bible study was to delve deeper into God’s word and be a #YestoGod girl through and through.
Then He got inside and stirred up my Spirit.
And then my mission was about to be canceled. By me…
You know the saying, if you ask you shall receive, ya? Well, I asked and got a royal kick in the pants of receiving!
I was told I needed to let go of some things, which you can read about here, and It was good. Then the reality set in and it was too hard. So, my flesh said, “who needs this God stuff anyway?”. I may be a Christian (and have been for well over 24 years) but this isn’t exactly what I had in mind! Yikes, He wants me to do what?! Yeah, that is well and good for someone else….
I was feeling the devil tugging on my sleeve a lot through the last 2 weeks…way more than I would like to admit. And even worse, I was really feeling the words seep in…doubt that I could, revulsion at being “caught” by my Daddy (God), disappointment in failing, and oh so much more! That’s it! I’m gonna quit this Bible study…Christian or otherwise, I know I have quieted the Spirit more than once in my life…I can do it again!
So, I made my way to church after my trying week of battling the devil in the hopes that by going he was gonna leave me alone and I would do my part as a Christian by going to church. Well, I sure was in for a surprise.
I get there with my husband (who is still being wooed by God) and my kiddos. I love praise and worship and sometimes really get into the whole thing. I am a hand raiser, I sway to the music and sometimes I will let the tears roll down my face…almost total abandon to God…almost. As I was praising, the worship team started singing a song I really love and I was praising with them and like a punch in the gut, the Lord whispered ever so quietly, go to the altar. I hesitated and thought that it must be my own overwhelming praise so I waited, and continued to praise. I was prodded again and thought, “isn’t this where I should be saying #YestoGod?” I excused myself and made my way to the front of the church. And this is the week that we sit in the back of the sancutary, of course…
I kneel at the altar and am overcome with tears and the Spirit really moves me. My Spirit is crying out to God and I try my best to block out all of the people in the sanctuary but I feel someone kneel beside me. A deacon asked me if I need something special in prayer, I just say that I need to get closer to God. (I was shocked, I had no idea why I was there!). After he prayed and I settled down a bit I realized that there was a woman standing beside me. She helped me up and as she hugged me she said, “God told me to come down here and pray for you. I didn’t want to disrupt you when you were praying, but He told me to come down here, so I did. (This was her #YestoGod moment, huh?!) He told me to tell you that He hears you and He is drawing you closer to Him. Do not give up!”
I could not believe it! The words I so needed to hear, spoken by a woman from church (one that I don’t even know her name!). God spoke through her, because I was trying desperately to not listen to Him! He totally called me out, in front of everyone in church and made me make a spectacle of myself….Whoa.
So, there was no question now. I ended up packing up well over 60+ books that next morning and I have deleted well over 100+ books from my Kindle…with so much more to go.
But, I know He has heard my crying out to Him now. I heard Him, even though His voice wan’t the one I heard.
I posted this post last week for the P31 OBS blog hop, and I was #amazed that once again He was speaking to me, this time through His written word.
He loves me and He hears me, even when I don’t realize I am calling out to Him.
Don’t give up.
I hear you.
I am drawing you closer.
This is my #StickWithIt moment.
I now look forward to more moments where He speaks to me, in whichever way He chooses to do so.
Be blessed today,
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