Remembering a St. Paddy’s Day Baby

There isn’t  much I haven’t told my kids about my mom. Well, okay, there are some things not really for their little ears, but they know a lot about Gramma. Yep, Gramma….not Grandma, Gram, Grandmother, Grandmom, Granny or the like, just Gramma.

She was like no other woman I have ever known. I have shared so many stories with the kids, but I wanted to share with you about the mother that birthed such a wonder like me….lol. Her birthday was March 17th, St. Patrick’s Day. She always said she was an Irish Colleen at heart.

First, we are missing her like crazy. She left us here to take her place in heaven with our heavenly father. May 8, 2003 (5 days after my 25th birthday) was the day she went home. After a very short bout with cancer, she went peacefully with my adoring big sister at her side. Thank God He took her peacefully, that was one thing she had always prayed for….that and keeping her memories intact before she died. (My Nana (Mom’s mother) had  Alzheimer’s and it was pretty rough on all of us). My mom went from healthy to not so healthy in a very short amount of time. Unknown to any of us, she had had cancer for a very long time (we would learn later after her death) and so the time at the end seemed so very short. Thankfully mom had already moved in with my older sister and her family, so she wasn’t alone when she got ill. I miss her so very much….

Second, this woman endured a lot and still managed to raise 5 children (and picked up a psudeo-adopted one later on in life), pretty much alone most of the time, and we didn’t turn out half bad, if I do say so myself! She provided the best life she could for all of us. Some of my siblings say I got the better end of the deal due to a little more money when I was growing up. But I always believed the opposite was true. They always got to spend the time with mom, the one on one time that I never really felt like I got. ANYway….

A few facts that make me smile about my mom:

– She loved the color blue. So much in fact that I remember when I was a little girl I intentionally chose blue as my favorite color too, because mom loved it so much. One Christmas I remember that she had given all of us kids our old, well loved decorations from when we were children. I remember being appalled that mom wasn’t going to decorate the Christmas tree at her house like always. She said, “I decorated the way you all wanted for a very long time. This year, I want a blue Christmas tree.” And so that is what she had that year. And it was gorgeous….

She loved blue so much that she had a huge collection of blue Carnival glass. This was the blue tinted glass that you could pick up at the local carnivals when they were in town. This glass was on display my whole life. I think that in my entire growing up years her punch bowl and glasses were only ever brought down, washed and used for New Years Eve and Christmas twice. It was a huge deal…this stuff was prized almost as much as us kids, lol.

– She had a very dry sense of humor. Her jokes often fell flat and she was never really good with a one-liner. I grew to appreciate her jokes though and sometimes just the two of us laughed. I too have a very dry sense of humor (thanks ma, lol) and often I miss a good one-liner or two myself. She did have some of the best inside jokes though…being on the phone and then looking at me, holding her hand just right to mask her words…”sorry” she’d whisper. Lol, I miss ya, Ma.

– She had a love for all things tiny. I remember through the years watching her take the time to build a miniature dollhouse. She painstakingly built, painted, decorated, installed furniture and simply had a grand time sitting and looking at her hard work. She loved that beautiful little house. She worked diligently for years on getting it “just right”. I never saw the beauty in it as a young person but looking back now…wow, she and that little house were amazing!

Another tiny thing she adored was her Christmas village. Us kids jumped on the bandwagon for her and made sure that every year she had a new item to add to her village. She had working light posts, all the houses had lights that you turned on, little teeny tiny people ice skating on her little snow covered mirror pond in the middle of town. This village required picture taking every year because of the time and effort she put into it. Our brick fireplace was never used as intended, instead mom had a brother-in-law of mine add plexiglass to the front of it so she could display her tiny decorations behind it. It was a treat for sure.

– She was a crafting queen. If she could see it in her head, most of the time she could make it happen. I still have a few mementos from her crafting projects. The ones that she spent time on, those are the ones I remember best. It is true, if someone works on a present for you, it will always mean more than a store bought present. I am grateful that she taught me that, because now I am able to share that wisdom with my children and see the fruit of their labors of love.

I am also so grateful that she passed on the ability to craft well. I love to create, design, build, take apart, all around tinker (okay, that part is mostly my dads fault). If I can see a project, I am usually one to make it happen. If I don’t know, I’ll figure it out. Mom was the same way. She was the original DIY chick in the family, lol.

– She always had one more Christmas present to give. It did not matter how old we got, there was always one more present to give. My mom was the best (or worst) at remembering where she hid all of the gifts for family. It never failed, as we torn into gifts and got down to checking out our new goodies, mom would suddenly get up and say, “Oh, so and so, I think I have something else in my room,” then she would hurry off to get the gift. Seriously, she would do this 3,4, sometimes 5 times after we were “all done” with gift giving. It is now an endearing memory as she is the only one that could pull that trick off every.single.year.

– She was a meat and potatoes kinda girl. She never really tried new foods until she got older. I think a lot of the time it was because us kids would share our experiences with her. She was intrigued by the fact that I had calamari and loved it! I remember that she looked at me like I was nuts when I told her I had eaten alligator. Or the time I told her I tried a new dish from my (to be) mother-in-law called blood rice. I thought she would faint, lol! Or the fact that my then littlest boy loved to eat grilled sardines, just like his daddy.

She ventured out of her shell mostly around one of the clients she cared for at the end of her working days. The man she worked for was a retired judge and had grown accustomed to “a better life” than most. Well my mom was a simple girl and this man was not amused by his aging self and often demanded that my mom take him out to eat at his favorite restaurants, one such place was a local Thai place. I remember her telling me about the noodles, lol, she had never (ever, EVER) even been a fan of Chinese food, so Thai was a brand new experience. Ultimately, she too fell in love with the food and then would rave about it. Often calling me on the phone to share about “what I had to eat today”. I miss her so and often wish that she was still here to share in some of the Portuguese foods my hubby loves to make!

A few more little things I want to share…

• Christmas was by far her favorite holiday.
• She loved to sleep
• She loved a good “find”, yard sale hopping on a Saturday morning and the local flea market…
• She loved to drive
• She loved the movie Dirty Dancing and pretty much all things SciFi (science fiction)
• She love, love, loved a good book (thanks Ma for teaching me to love reading)
• She thought me and all my sisters silly that we kept so many books…read once, take back to the library, that was her thinking
• She loved her family, no matter what
• She loved her pets
• She hated housework (lol, again, thanks Ma for that!)

No matter the amount of time that goes by, my heart still has those moments of…

“I gotta call mom to tell her….”,

“I wish I could tell her…”,

“Mom, do you remember?…”

Those are the moments that I still mourn over. The lost moments. The lost moments, the fleeting minutes of my children’s lives that she doesn’t get to share with me. The times where I needed to tell Mom that my kids where acting like crazy people, and surely I was never like that? Or the fact that my emotional and overly dramatic little girl is not normal, because there is no way under the sun I could have EVER acted like that. The moments of achievement for my kids….or myself. The times that I just wish I could hear her say, “Good Job Callie Suzy, good job.”

I wish she was able to see how my kids are growing up so quickly. To stand in awe with me that my 12 year old son is quickly becoming a man. Or that my baby girl is the epitome of beauty, grace and truth. Or that my baby boy is quite the character and that already, at 6, loves his Jesus. To watch with me as my little ones learn to spread their wings and be my comforter and tell me, “Yes, my girl, you did the best job you could do.” To know that by being a great mom to me, I in turn am able to be a great mom to my own children. I wish….well, I just plain wish a lots of things.

I know that mourning for her is normal and that everyone feels the same way when a parent has to leave them. I know that mom made her way to heaven so my mourning is more self pity than actually missing her. I know she is in a much better place and I cannot wait to see her again, loving her Jesus. But some days…well, some days….I just miss my ma.

She taught me to love my Jesus, be a good girl, say I’m sorry (and mean it), she told me stories about life and always had a good ear for me to bend. Without question, the bad moments seemed constant when I was growing up, stretching and bending. Now, they were so few and far between and I have so many good memories and I often yearn that I was able to have more.

Finally, I pray daily that my kids will be able to say some good things about me when I am gone and they won’t remember the fussing, yelling and (it seems) constant reprimanding. Because I know that I deserved most of the scolding as a kid and I thought the growing up would never come, that being stuck under mom would never go away. But ultimately, mom was a grand mom and I am forever grateful that God allowed me the 25 years I had with her. Some people don’t even get that.

I miss ya Ma….I surely so.

Thankfully, In His Grace.

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