There are a lot of times that I have to turn off my mama/wife brain off and just go with the flow.
I have had a lot of years to practice and sometimes I still need to work really hard in quieting the noise.
My husband is a spontaneous kinda guy. Not everyday but most days. His job takes him away from home up to 4 days in a row, every week. Our life as a family is always in an ebb and flow status.
When my husband is home, I pretty much am lax in what type of scheduling I do…on the off chance that my hubby wants to do “something”. The something is anything from going to Home Depot or even WalMart.
I like my husband, like huge quantities like, so I want to spend as much time with him as possible while he is home.
On the flip side though, it is so hard sometimes to slide into “bendy” mode. I handle life by myself for days at a time while he is gone so it sometimes makes life a bit harder to let go.
Where am I going with this?
Since there is only a few days I get with my husband, I need to make the best of it I can. Right?! Like being spontaneous….
I have come to understand that sex for a married couple is so very important. But it is a conversation that is so awkward to have with even the best of friends.
So, I’m stepping out to share with you a few important reasons why you need to make time for this sacred and soul binding moment and why you need to quiet those voices in your head and be okay with spontaneous sex.
The voices in your head are not always the best voices you need to listen to. I’ve learned this the hard way, unfortunately.
Being spontaneous in this area of your marriage will help keep that spark alive.
Here are some examples I personally have had in my life that I want to share with you. It is hard, really hard to quiet the voices that say….
– I can’t, I have all this laundry to fold (which is all over the bed, no less).
Shove the laundry aside, throw it on the floor, throw it in a basket…lay on it even. He will appreciate you more for saying “yes” to his advances than to clean folded laundry.
I know, because I had to ask my man about it. He would much rather spend time with me being intimate now and worry about the laundry later. He might even go as far as helping with it later, just say “yes” to him now. It’s more fun and better for your health and well being anyway.
– I can’t, I haven’t showered in (insert number of days here, we’ve all been there mama, it happens).
I have so been there ladies. Honestly, I still am most days here at my house. Since we homeschool, life really and truly does not stop for me once I get out of bed….so showering kinda falls too low on the list some days.
I kid you not, say “yes”, then take a three minute shower. No need to wash your hair or shave your legs. Get in, get the main business clean and get down to spontaneous fun. Each time you make the extra time to drop everything for him, he is honored and his value (in his own eyes) increases because you chose him over everything else.
– I’m tired. It is without a doubt an issue that comes into play a lot. Being a mama and wife is tiring work.
Most likely he is tired too. Working long hours takes a lot out of you. Providing for a family wears a man down. This moment is about connecting as a married couple. Bringing life back into balance. Rejoining your husband and again becoming one.
I believe the Bible makes a wonderful example of telling us that a man leaves his family and cleaves to his wife and that what God puts together no man can tear apart.
So making time to bond, cohere, to each other ultimately makes you stronger as a couple. Stronger to head back into the world, a world that seeks to destroy good Godly marriages.
– I can’t, the kids are in the other room. They will hear. They will question. They will know.
For other than the obvious reasons, spontaneous sex is good for your children too. How? You may ask. Because they see mama and daddy taking time to be together.
I am not saying that you need to make this an ongoing, daily, time consuming occurrence. Rather, I am saying that once in a while, locking the bedroom door will tell the children that mama and daddy are making time to be healther, happier, more connected and stronger.
This may come as a shock to you but I’m gonna say it anyway.
Sex is by far one of my favorite ways to relieve stress.
When my husband is gone for numerous days in a row, things get kinda stressful around here.
My nerves are shot.
My emotions have been on a virtual rollercoaster.
I need some one on one time with my man.
The same thing happens to my husband when he is gone.
Do I always reeeaaalllly feel up to initiating sex? Oh my, heavens no. But for the way that I feel once I have reconnected with my husband….well, I for one say, make the effort!
He will think you are hot since you brought up the idea.
He will be much more into providing some good attention to you.
He will totally be shocked and he will be deeply touched because you took time to show him just how much you need him too.
Seriously, one of the best reasons for being married.
Make time to be spontaneous, it is good for both of you and it will help your marriage in ways you never thought possible.
And, it is totally okay to be spontaneous, to quiet those voices….I promise.
In His Grace.
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