Patience and My Lack Thereof

In tears she says, “But Mama, you are hurting me. It feels like you are doing it on purpose.”

Ugh. No matter how many times I hear her utter those words, it is like a knife in my heart.

In all my years as her mama I have begged, pleaded, threatened, fussed and fumed….over hair care. Yeah, hair care and why it is so very important.

I know, it is a trivial thing, or it might be in your book. But this one little bitty thing wears on my patience like never before. My lack of heart in her mind surely relates to my lack of love or caring.

I try to hold my tongue, I really do.

But I feel compelled to remind her that she is old enough to brush her hair. That she can’t let it get to this point. She should have brushed it out before she went to bed, right after her bath.

Then as I notice the tears sliding down her face, yet again, I clamp my mouth shut and as gently as I can, finish the task of brushing her hair. My own frustration meter is pegged at overwhelmed, hers no longer even exists.

Oh how the Lord finds these moments. You know the ones, the ones where you think that you simply cannot complete the task at hand. I say more than one prayer as she scoots out the door to her room. I roll my eyes, knowing that I blew it….again. As I pass her room a few minutes later, already in the midst of another chore, I hear her heart wrenching sobs. Ugh, not again, I say to myself. I go in and remove the one hair band I had put in her hair to try to keep things a bit more organized for her. “Please stop crying, please.” I say.

I feel the Lord tugging on my heart, a gentle whisper slides across my ear….patience, gentleness, be easy, love her regardless.

Then it hits me…no one will show her these things, No One Else but me. Oooooh my…

I pray about my lack of patience, then am reminded that with patience comes obstacles, it is never easy to know that those two things come together.

I swallow my pride and frustrations and continue to pray. Asking for blessings for my precious girl, this little girl that I never knew I needed or wanted and yes, more patience for me.

A little about patience:

patience [pey -sh uh ns] noun

1. the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.

2. an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay.

3. quiet, steady presevenance: even-tempered; diligence

No matter how many times we go round and round with hair care, it proves to me that I have so much more to learn about being patient. Thank the good Lord above that no matter how many times, I screw up, and loss my patience, He does not. I look to Him because it is a never ending grate on my nerves, my perfectionistic human side, that says, the little girl is never going to listen to me. I lose my temper, I get irritated and highly annoyed. Thank God for his continued encouragement with His loving word…

Psalm 37:7, “Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him:”

Romans 5:3-4, “Knowing that tribulation works patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope:”

Colossians 1: 11, “Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfullness;”

1Timothy 6:11, “But you, O man (or woman) of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekeness.”

We serve a Loving, Patient, Forgiving and Understanding Heavenly Father, and for that I am so very grateful. Without Him in my life, I could not even begin to imagine what kind of a mama I would be. I am strengthened by His wonderful love and though I still get bombarded and loss my patience, I know that I can still rely on Him to pick me back up, help me to see the error of my way and press me to do better….yes, simply, do better.

Thank you Lord for allowing me to do better.

Many blessings today,

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