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MCS-5WaysRespect

Sometimes he makes it to church with us, sometimes he doesn’t.

I know that it is important to make it to church and I knew that I needed to remind him of the benefits of going.

So I set out to share a piece of my mind.

I had it all planned out and I knew exactly what I was going to say.

As I saw my opportunity to share my feelings approaching, I felt a gentle tugging.

“You need to sweep the floor before you say something.” A quiet thought skittered through my mind.

I tried to push the thought aside, knowing that it was the Holy Spirit, and honestly, the floor could wait. I knew he was going to be gone for hours and this was my only chance.

I headed over to him as he was gathering his stuff to head out to the woods.

As I opened my mouth my youngest son ran into the room, “Daddy, can I go with you?!” he demanded.

I went to reprimand him about interrupting, yet again.

My husband smiled and looked to give it much thought, “Sure buddy, but hurry up, we are running out of daylight.”

His young son beamed up at his hero and scampered out of the room.

“Did you need something, babe?” he looked at me with a smile in his eyes.

Completely side swiped by my youngest son’s appearance and the happiness in my husband’s eyes, I shook my head and gave him a mega watt smile, “Nope, just that I am going to miss you while you are gone.”

The moment passed and I swallowed my words, the words that were going to be harsh, full of condemnation, peckish, so not of the Holy Spirit.

Learning to be the wife that Christ asks me to be is way harder some days than I imagined. As a woman that had little Biblical influence on how to be a godly wife, I still struggle…I struggle way more than I would truly like to admit.

I am a constant work in progress and I am still amazed at the moments that God places me in and expects me to do my best. I really get grumpy with my heavenly father…He expects sooooo much from me…

I am hoping to impart some ways that I am learning to be a better wife for my husband. Each of these 5 things are part of my growing and stretching as to become a better wife for my husband.

1. Pray for Him, Everyday

This is a must for me. My prayers may not always be deep, sometimes  they are fleeting, but always true. Praying for my husband is such an important part of our marriage. As I am not always sure where he stands in regards to his faith, I am trying to step up and cover him as much as I can with prayer. I know that I cannot pray him into heaven or make his choice for him, so I do what I can to pray for his health, protection from the roaring lion that is seeking to devour him and our marriage (I Peter 5:8).

A believing and praying person (wife) can cause great things to happen (James 5:16). I have learned through the years that my knees are the most powerful when I am on them praying.

2. Not Always having Something to Say – Being Quiet

I am so opinionated and willful, it is so very hard to keep my mouth shut sometimes. When those moments present themselves, I mostly make it without saying something. I admit that I still make snarky comments, I still feel the need to have the last word, and I may mutter under my breath on occasion but I am trying. When I keep those words inside my head, it makes our situations much smoother than if I had given in and said something.

The words that I keep inside aren’t always Christ-like, and yes, I am still working on that also. But ultimately, once I have a cooler head, I can see that the-keeping-my-mouth-shut moment proved to be worth it. I show respect for my husband if I can just stop talking. It can help deflate any issue more quickly, you know, like letting the air out of a balloon.

“A soft answer turns away wrath; but grievous words stir up anger.” Proverbs 15:1 – better for me to a keep my mouth shut and not say anything than to stir things up just because I feel the need to “say something” or to have the last word.

Nagging. The word alone provides me with numerous images. Ones that I do not like at all. Many cartoons have displayed this nagging woman, and they are not flattering images.

Proverbs 21:19 – It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.

Proverbs 27:15 – A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.

Contentious – 1) tending to argument or strife; quarrelsome 2) causing, involving, or characterized by argument or controversary.

Nagging, it simply is not worth the strife that it will cause in our marriage. The Bible seems pretty clear about  the result of being a contentious woman…I try very, very hard to skip being “that woman”.

3. Trusting Him

By trusting my husband in everyday situations and by not micromanaging him, I am showing him that I respect him. By trusting him to make decisions without my constant input, I am showing him that I believe in him and that I know he will make the best decision for him, me or our family.

This trust thing is a hard gig sometimes. You know, because I am so opinionated and all. Through the years though I have seen an increase in the amount of information that he shares with me. He asks my opinion more and seems to take my words into consideration in a lot of matters. More so than he did years ago. I like that he includes me and even wants my opinion, surprisingly, it was only after I stopped being so untrusting that this showed up in our marriage.

Once I stopped trying to make all of the decisions, and started putting more trust in him and his decisions, life just seemed to make a turn in the direction I always thought I was pushing for in the first place.

4. Being Intimate with Him

Sex?! How is that showing your husband respect,  you might ask…in my mind, because if I choose to spend my time by showing him just how much I like him in the bedroom, I am showing him that I respect him as a man.

This is a act designed by the almighty God and I for one think that it is an act of marriage that tends to get all thrown out of balance. With so many magazine covers, online reports, and well meaning friends from Facebook, the idea of happily married sex is a fallacy. Not true.

By spending this quality time with my husband we are continuing to increase our bond as a married couple. All of the stories of pornography making its way into marriages, well, that is another route by the devil to crack marriages open and break them to pieces. Again, marriage is a creation of God, that alone is something that the devil wants no part of, let alone a happy marriage…the devil is all over that like, well…white on rice.

By choosing to make the time for my husband, he sees that I value him above all else that is going on in our life. As a man, this act of bonding with a wife in this aspect is a morale booster, a confidence enhancer, a self-esteem promoter and Every Man needs that in his life…because that is how God intended it to be.

The Bible says that man shall cleave to his wife and they shall become one flesh (Genesis 2:24).

Cleave – 1) to adhere closely; stick; cling 2) to remain faithful

The Bible also says that what God has joined together, no man shall put asunder (Matthew 19:6).

Asunder – 1) into separate parts; in or into pieces 2) apart or widely separated

Again, the Bible makes it pretty clear how the Lord views married couples. Joined; Made to Cleave; One Flesh.

Also, it is pretty incredible to spend that kind of time with my husband and know that it is pleasing to him as well as to me. That’s a nice touch God added in for an act that can bring about little people.

5. Praising Him With My Words

Too often I get caught up in the mundane of everyday life. I tend to forget that all things are good that is blessed by God. My life is surely blessed by God, so how is it that I forget to say thank you, or encourage the ones I love the most?

Right. Because I am human and I am not as diligent as I should be.

By praising my husband with my words, it is a sign of respect. It can be as simple as:

“Thank you for all you do for our family.”

“You are the greatest daddy around!”

“I appreciate you and the hard work you do for all of us.”

“Thank you for reading to the kids.”

“What a great dinner babe! Thanks!”

Just as mamas we are to praise and encourage our children, as wives we are to praise and encourage our husbands as well. Pretty sure he is still human and needs to hear these words of encouragement and praise.

With so much that my husband deals with on a daily basis that is work related, I am a firm believer in praising the fact that he goes out each day to provide for us.

Each man is essentially hard wired to provide for his family. Some men may provide in ways that don’t always fit into the “hunter/gatherer” persona but it is providing nonetheless. Each man fits into a God-given temperament and how he provides is usually indicative of that temperament. No matter what type of a provider your husband is, he deserves to be praised (thanked) for doing just that.

Some men require a bit more, and that usually depends on the type of mother he had. Please always take that into consideration, but do make your husband understand that what he does truly does matter. Honor him and respect him for all that he does. He craves this praise and respect, unfortunately not every man can recognize this need. He still needs it though, so take extra time to lavish him with praise. In his mind, it is a sign of respecting him.

Each and every husband deserves a wife that shows him respect. In todays world the “I’ll give respect when I get respect” idea is all wrong, on so many levels. I understand that not everyone’s life has been easy/is easy; there are a number of Bible verses that relate to caring for others before yourself, being friendly and kind to others, treating others as you would like to be treated, serving others, and so many more.

As we go about our day, it is paramount that we serve our husbands. As the head of the house, he needs to feel respected and honored. As a praying wife, you can cause changes to come about every day. Let’s make a promise to show our husbands more respect….it will come and your marriage will be more blessed by God.

In His Grace.

Callie

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