I don’t know if you follow this blog on Facebook or not, but the other morning was Really. Rough. here at my house.
It was ugly y’all. I mean, so ugly that I was completely susceptible to some thoughts that I hardly ever entertain.
The one thought that almost never crosses my mind was the one that you might have uttered a time or two. Well, for my benefit I am hoping that I am not the only one because I was appalled as soon as the thought skittered across my brain.
“This is why kids get sent to school.”
Here is the full post from Facebook:
See that picture?
Here – this one is better:
Well, as I trudged (and slightly stomped) back down the stairs to the office after a not so glorious mama moment, this picture was plastered on my computer screen. I was attempting to post on a Facebook page that I admin for and low and behold this was one thing I was looking at before I was dragged away from my desk. This Bible verse.
And I am sure of this, He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion . . . Philippians 1:6
It was like a punch in the stomach.
I was utterly convicted and ashamed of myself. I sat seething for a few moments before I typed out that Facebook post above.
But even as I looked at the photo, I knew that God was right there. He knew how I felt. How angry and frustrated I was. He also knew my heart. The heart that I absolutely have for my children. So even by the time I was finished writing that post on Facebook, I knew that He had filled me with a peace that only He can provide.
Yes. Homeschooling is an absolute chore some days. 100% HARD. So hard that I feel like throwing in the towel.
But . . .
I also know that His word is true. And It never lies. So that means, that this homeschool thing, He will see it to completion. Because He called me for this job, therefore He will see that I finish it and finish it well.
So, mama, know that He sees you in every moment, even those ugly, down right horrible ones and HE STILL LOVES YOU. And HE STILL WANTS GOOD FOR YOU.
This homeschool thing is a daily choice, just like everything else we are handed. The way we handle it, is what they will remember, not what we said about all of it.
I did make amends. I went to each child and apologized and asked for forgiveness. Explaining that anger is never the best option and that mamas were designed to help, not cause more issues. There were tears, for all involved, and by God’s amazing grace, I was forgiven for my ugly attitude. Granted, that won’t replace the serving bowl I destroyed but at least my children know that it is necessary to apologize and to ask forgiveness.
And tomorrow (or the next hour) there is room for improvement.
Stay strong mama. God has everything aspect of your life in His hands. He wants this homeschool thing to work for His good too.
In His Grace.