There are so many times during the day the I see in my minds eye the fate that is before me.
Being this boy’s mama.
I struggle with the overwhelming greatness of it all.
This boy, too big to be called little, yet too little to be called big. He is growing at even turn. How am I supposed to keep him in clothes and shoes…let alone make sure he knows who he belongs to?
I just read the other day that God knew what our children needed, and that is why they are ours…because God chose each mama and child for a reason. A purpose.
This word alone has caused me great anxiety over the last 13 years. I let the world convince me that all teenagers are bad, horrible, destructive, insensitive human beings that do not care about anyone other than themselves.
Well…the world was partly correct. There are some really bad moments to be had when one is rearing a teenager.
Oh yes…and some painful and shameful moments on my part with my completely human mama overreaction to the simplest things.
We have been in this teenager stage for such a short amount of time and I have many years ahead of me. With this man-boy as well as his little sister and little brother…
I want to share a post that I wrote a while back on my MSC’s Facebook page:
With so much going on each day I am often reminded that it isn’t all about me. The impressions I leave on my children are lasting and some days, well, some days I am a complete and utter failure in the parenting department.
Today for example has been overly taxing with this new teenager I have in my house. Wow – I remember my mom telling me to behave because otherwise when I have children my grief will be increased 10 fold. Holy Moses, I hate to admit it but I think she was right…
Train up a child in the way that he should go: and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
And thou shalt love The Lord they God with all your heart, and all your soul and with all your might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in your heart: And you shall teach them diligently to your children, and you shall talk about them when you sit in the house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise up. Deuteronomy 6:5-7
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5
This parenting gig, it is hard. Way harder than I ever expected. With these powerful words, these promises, that I carry in my heart; I am not in this alone, and He has promised me good things.
Keep your head up mama, He sees you, He hears you, He knows Exactly where you are, right now. Say a prayer, count all your blessings and know that His mercies will began anew tomorrow…(Lamentations 3:22)
And to borrow a phase #PreachingGospelToMyself
I reach into my heart numerous times during the day and try, really try to see the world through his eyes. Yes, I was a teenager (obviously, right?!) and I remember it all too well. So, you would think that I would be better equipped to handle this…you know, like, “I got this!”
I am overwhelming a pitiful example of a mama of a teenage boy. I hear myself speak and cringe. I know that my voice will be his voice of reason down the line…why do I speak so? Do I not still hear my mother’s voice in moments of indecision?! Ahhhhhhhhh…
This is why God calls us to do and be. This is our mission in life.
To be mamas that nurture, not break down. To speak life and truth into the hearts of our children.
This is why I hang on to the promises that God has spoken in His holy word. Because He does not make mistakes…He chose me…overwhelming, He chose me to be this man-boy’s mama…no one else.
Just as He has chosen you to rear up the young man-boy in your charge.
The one that makes you feel like you will have no hair at the end of the day. The one that sometimes rips out your heart and stomps all over it, carelessly, without reaction. The one that makes you hold your breath and count to 100, over and over and over and over. The one that can give you the sideways look of his that lets you peek into his man heart, the one that will be some young lady’s in the future. The one that steps up and shows the neighbor boy what being a real big brother is supposed to look like. The one that will run through the yard without a care, yet walks with a strut in a blink of an eye. The one that tunes you out when you are delivering correction yet tears up as soon as he sees your own tears fall. The one that will some day hold your grandchild in his arms and smile as if he is King of the World.
YES…this one man-boy, this teenager. He is the one this is all about.
Not me. Just him and all of my failings as I try to understand him, help mould him, pray for him, laugh with him, show him that no one is above God and all of the peace that comes with knowing Him and trusting Him.
Understand him…probably never in the next 7 years.
But I have a God of big promises that I rely on…today, tomorrow, in 7 years. The same God that has called you to your purpose too…raising up your man-boy for His greater purpose.
Keep your head up mama. You got this.
In His Grace.